Sometimes, we are bogged down by personal challenges that pull us down. Sometimes, we feel alone. It’s times like this that we need a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, some time away, or a platform that we can vent our frustrations on.

LE Chat is a column that highlights issues that affect us negatively and positively.  These issues can be personal issues or issues that have impact on others.  Contact Frieda Loh at frieda@le.com.sg or message her on Facebook | Friederike Loh for topics you would like her to highlight.

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LE Chat  | The Modern Woman Affliction

Let’s face it – being a modern woman is tough.  Yes, we do have plenty of perks (not in any particular order) – access to education, career opportunities, freedom to pursue the object of our love (i.e. we do not need to wait for a Mr Darcy to secure our family’s fortune), great fashion, protection laws and the list goes on.

It is highly ironic that we are the ones giving ourselves a hard time, i.e. the hardest expectations we have to face is that of ourselves and other modern “superwomen”.  We are expected (or expect ourselves) to ace our academic studies, get a well paying job at a highly rated firm/own a successful business/businesses, marry the perfect partner, have beautiful children and own that perfect home (that evokes envy in all our friends and neighbours).  Simultaneously, we are expected to look fabulous (i.e. great body, supple skin, gorgeous hair and immaculate make-up) while achieving these media-influenced dreams.  Phew, sounds exhausting when these so-called dreams are listed down.

But seriously, is this what we really, really want?  Several successful businesswomen I personally know are living these dreams, however, when they have some time to themselves, they get depressed, cry silently and ask themselves if this life they have created is what really makes them happy.  Some readers might think, “So what if they cry to themselves?  They have the perfect life!!”  I reckon that pursuing the “perfect life” could be the very thing that makes us unhappy.

There are women out there who are happy living this particular dream.  However, there are those who are miserable because they believe that only by attaining these dreams, would they then experience happiness.  They fail to recognise that there are other aspects of their lives that already make them happy.  They focus on what they don’t have and embark on a downward spiral spin.

We are not perfect.  If you are happy leading a life that does not constitute the perfect career/home/husband/children/body, I congratulate you for not succumbing to the modern woman’s affliction of perfectionism.  If you’re happy bumming in front of the television on Sundays and not running a perfect household/marathon, I congratulate you for taking time out to relax and enjoy your life.

Living your life to the fullest doesn’t necessarily mean filling it up with activities that are expected of you.  Living your life to the fullest means living it according to your dreams and desires.